Happiness
by Dark Shadows 01
Summary: Emotions, feelings can all be misleading but none more than happiness, Mizuno Ami founds out the hard way as she battles with herself over thoughts of someone close to her. Mako/Rei/Ami. By popular demand I will make this into a story so you better review
1. Chapter 1

**Happiness**

**Disclaimer: Please don't sue as Sailor Moon is not mines…unfortunately.**

**Another idea popped into mind whilst sitting here in front of the laptop at midnight…Enjoy.**

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Happiness…such a deceiving word, it can mean so much on the surface yet mean a completely different idea under it's welcoming and cruel depths, I suppose you could relate the word to an iceberg. A piercing cold iceberg, ready to claim any victims that came too close to its surface…

"Amy-chan?" came Usagi's voice lightly and prying as she leaned forward, her baby blue eyes clouded over with concern as she observed my suddenly tensed body; clutching the book I was currently reading so tightly that my nails imprinted themselves into the white paper pages.

"Yes Usagi-chan?" I replied, releasing my grip on the helpless book and looking into the eyes of our princess, sighing as I tried to ignore the people behind her and their current affairs…

"Stop that Mako-chan!" Rei giggled as she felt the Senshi of Protection's hands slide up the sides of her smooth silky body, distracting her from the open manga that was sprawled across her lap.

"But do you really want me to?" Mako-chan replied huskily into the sensitive ear of the Senshi of War, as her hand snaked themselves around her waist and lay there comfortably, not ashamed that they were acting like this in front of their friends, in a study group and…in front of me.

I missed Rei's seductive whisper as I reverted all of my attention to the blonde who was trying to get me to aid her in her studies. English: it was never one of her strong points but I listened and corrected her as though I was an emotionless robot, only there to help others and never think of myself. I sighed again, it wasn't Usagi's fault, and it wasn't anybody's fault apart from my own.

Smiling hollowly at my friend as she transported herself back to her own space in the room to practise her newly found skills, I closed my eyes and sank deeper into the soft pillow I was sitting on, thinking of how I was so stupid to let myself follow these rogue emotions, playing throughout my crowded brain. I should've known they were just going to cause trouble, just like every other revolutionist against their government. I should've stomped down on these emotions, handcuffed them and thrown them into the back of my mind, never to bother me again, but no, even with my logical brain I let myself become enveloped in another feeling, one that I only felt in the midst of battle. A feeling known to me as hope. Yes, hope.

Hope for what? For Crystal Tokyo to come soon so that world peace could be had? So that I could reunite my future self with my past self? No, I argued with myself I hoped for something special with someone so close to me, someone who I work along side with day by day, fighting on the battle ground of justice, my fellow Senshi and also known as the girlfriend of Makoto Kino, who, also a Senshi and worked well with had claimed the very person I had so dearly wanted in my life. The spark I needed and wanted so desperately in my life had been stolen, and I was forced to live everyday of my life watching her being loved by another, it was not my voice or hands that brought her pleasure, I was only there in the background whilst all of her attention would be on her lover…not me.

"Ami-chan?" the familiar, high-pitched note of Usagi's voice reached my ears again,

"What?!" I snapped instantly, immediately silencing the bubbly blonde and causing everyone's attention to be drawn to my harsh outburst.

"Sorry Usagi, I'm just a bit stressed so I'm going to call it a day," With that I cleared all reminders of me and swiftly departed from the house of Rei Hino, walking hurriedly back to the comfort and solitude of my own house. At least there I'd be able to think over these irritating thoughts that took pride in humiliating me.

I was running now, through the ever busy city that was my home, some people turned their heads to look at me concerned as I sprinted past them, tears pricking at my eyes painfully, at least some people could spare me some attention, I thought ironically. My breathing became laboured and I had to decelerate to a pitiful walk as my lungs gasped for the air they had been deprived of. I was never physically strong, that base was always covered by…Mako-chan…

My house appeared in front of my pathetic self as I let myself in gratefully heading straight to my room, I was thankful my mother wasn't home for once. I needed time to breathe and time for my thoughts. Collapsing onto my bed face down I sank in allowing the moment of comfort, relax my entire body, still breathing rapidly from my earlier exertion. The tears had slipped casually down my rosy cheeks, moistening the quilt beneath me.

Why? I moaned to myself, why did I have these feelings? Why did I have to let myself be drawn to the one person who was taken? I thumped the mattress with a clenched fist.

Why did it have to hurt so much?

I flipped my body so I was now facing the pearly white ceiling, the tears still sliding down my cheeks, as I lay there motionless apart from the occasional blinking of my eyes. Shutting them I found that an image of the one I sought was present, so I tired not to but it was so hard, my eyes stung as they air around them attacked them and therefore not wanting to make myself blind, I closed them.

A glimmer of her teeth was shown to me as she smiled at me, winking at me playfully. I started, reopening my eyes, an uncomfortable flush of heat pulsed itself from my already rosy cheeks.

"Stop it," I said aloud as I closed my eyes to blink again. This time it was Sailor Mars flying towards me, pushing me out of harms way our bodies touching intimately as we landed on the ground roughly, me on top of her…our faces inches apart.

"Stop it!" my voice rising in volume, "I said stop it!"

I vaulted myself off of my bed with such force that I nearly collided with the door but my trained reflexes stopped me from doing so, as I continued down my hurried path to the bathroom. Upon entering my haven I slammed the door shut, plugging the sink I turned on the cold tap and let the pressurised water flow out into the depth of the sink. I was shaking that last thought was all too real, all to painful; I needed to put a stop to it now…

The hissing of the water captured my attention and I quickly switched off the tap again before it over flowed onto the bathroom floor. Walking up to the sink, I stared at my watery reflection staring back at me, almost mocking me. This was happiness I thought and here was what lay beneath the surface…

I took a deep breath and plunged my head into the sink, my hands on the sides to brace myself. The intensity of the freezing cold water increased my body's shivering and sent a deathly chill down into my core. The water slapping against my skin like watery hands, trying to regain my sanity. I lost my breath in the depths of the water, in the depths of the iceberg…

I thrust my head out off of the sink, breaking the surface and gasping once more as my depleted lungs greedily filled back up with air. The water running off of my face and hair splashed back into the sink reuniting back with its murky depths. Gasping, I could only hear myself gasping as I reached out for the blue towel next to me, wiping my face and hair so it was only a chilling dampness.

My ice blue eyes ascended to the glass mirror hanging in front of me, watching all of my pathetic movements and now it stared back at me, emotionless, cold and hard. My face came closer to the other as though there was some sort of invisible attraction. Inspecting the other, I saw the pale face, tinted red at the cheeks, water dripping off of the stiff nose, the damp and flattened hair against its head.

"You want her to be happy," the face suddenly said to me piercing me with its gaze.

"I want her to be happy," I repeated, my gaze glazed over, as though I was in a trance, I stood transfixed as I awaited for it to speak again.

"And to make her happy you must be happy," It smiled chillingly at me, waiting for me to respond.

"And to make her happy I must be happy," I repeated again, the twitching of both sides of my mouth rose into a cold smile, as I turned and left satisfied with my new conclusion: I would become the depths of happiness, never the surface…

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A little bit different, please tell me what you think, good or bad I like it all – Dark Shadows 01


	2. Chapter 2

**Happiness**

**Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is not mine, although it would be cool if it was **

**On popular demand I've decided to continue this story, so please keep reviewing, they give me the drive to keep writing. Thanks to all those who have reviewed. Enjoy.**

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The cold smile firmly plastered onto my face as I left the bathroom and waked back into my room, observing my wrinkled bed covers from my previous tantrum. My smile increased as I remembered how pitiful I must have looked if anyone had seen me, but I would not let anyone see my true self and I would not let anyone see my 'happiness'.

I started slightly as the house phone suddenly yelled out into the empty apartment, trying to grab my attention into lifting the phone off of the receiver. With habit, my pale hand reached out for the source of noise, instantly silencing it when my fingers wrapped around the cool plastic cover and raised it to my ear.

"Hello, Mizuno Ami speaking," I said smoothly into the microphone of the device and waited to see who had, suddenly thought to call my mother or me.

"Hey Ami-chan," I knew the collected voice on the other side belonged to the one who had caused me my 'happiness'.

"Rei-chan what can I do for you?" I asked keeping my voice neutral as I spoke, why on earth would Rei want to call me? She had never did in the past, I'd even forgotten that she had my number as I'm sure it was another Senshi's number that was frequently dialled and not mines.

"I…" She hesitated momentarily before speaking again, "I was wondering if everything was alright?"

"Yes Rei-chan everything is fine here." I said abruptly waiting for her to continue, if she hadn't cared in the past, why did it matter now?

"Oh…that's good to hear then Ami-chan," Her voice was not convinced by my statement but I knew she wouldn't pursue the matter further, "I was just making sure you were ok…"

"Yes Rei-chan I am fine, there's no need for you to worry," I assured her with my voice still remaining monotone, clearly giving off the sign that this case was now closed.

"Well if you say so Ami-chan, I'll see you later then bye," I heard her breathing through the speaker as she waited for my reply,

"Yes Rei-chan I will see you later, bye" I heard the tiny click of the phone being replaced on the receiver on the other side and I copied the motion.

I knew that Rei-chan would discuss this chilling conversation with Mako-chan, saying how I was so cold and emotionless, then Mako-chan would say something like just leave her be, she'll fine in a few days. I could imagine the whole scene as though I was watching a play with the actors in front of me, speaking my thoughts and following my script. I sighed my 'happiness' faltering ever so slightly but I remembered the girl in the mirror from before,

And to make her happy you must be happy…

My eyes clouded over with non-existent emotions as I made my way to my bed to rest for the remainder of the night with the thoughts of Rei-chan still haunting me. After all, all I ever wanted was to make her happy and if this was the only way to do it I would. No one ever cared much for my sake anyway, sinking into the comforting mattress; I laid my head into the pillow and drifted off into a light slumber, allowing myself to be myself in the protection of my solitude…

My night was choppy and restless as though I had become a storm far out on the horizon above the sea, the same thoughts and people kept tormenting me and that girl from the mirror, her words echoed through, what felt like time and space as I was suspended between it all, spiralling and overwhelmed by it all…

Gasping, I was gasping again as I suddenly found my body upright and eyes flying open, clutching the dampish bed sheets; I leaned forward inhaling as much air as I could to get to return my hearts pulsations into a stable condition. I groaned, burying my face into my sweaty palms, making even more so as I felt the sickening, slick liquid on my forehead rub onto my shaking hands.

There was also another liquid adding to the solution as droplets fell from my tightly shut eyes, smoothly slipping off of my already tear stained cheeks and onto the sheets…

**And to make her happy you must be happy…**

There she was again, with that same sentence that plagued my sanity, eating away at my mentality,

"But how can I be happy?" My voice meek and scratchy as it left my mouth, I can imagine her face in the mirror again, but it would be much different from mines. The girls' face would be emotionless, impossible to read all apart from the cold smile that played upon her harsh lips and her eyes…they would not be all red and puffy from crying. They would be ferocious, sharp and chilling, slicing into anyone's and everyone's soul. I swallowed hard waiting for her to speak…to guide me.

**By seeing the one you desire and showing her that you do **_**not**_** care about her…**

I sat there dumfounded, she wanted me to see Rei? Well I guess that isn't too hard, I'm seeing everyone today anyway. I sighed as I noticed the rays of light slashing through the tiny gaps in the curtains: morning…great. I sighed again, it would only be a few hours before I had to face everyone again. I grumbled to myself for a few more minutes before hoisting myself into my morning routine.

The sun blared relentlessly down from the heavens, casting very little shadows as its rays covered most of Tokyo. I walked firmly with a new resolve in mind and the same cool smile upon my lips as my light blue summer dress swished around my legs with the slight breeze I was creating. The lush green grass attracted my gaze instantly as I felt peaceful by its fertility and purity…

An enthusiastic blonde came sprinting up to me speaking far too quickly for my mind to register anything her mouth was babbling on about.

"Usagi-chan calm down I can't understand you," I said laughing half heartedly at the childish girl in front of me, looking slightly embarrassed from my statement.

"Heh sorry about that Ami-chan I'm just so glad that you came, look I even brought you a book!" She finished smiling proudly as she produced an encyclopaedia, holding out for me to take it.

"Thanks Usagi-chan," I smiled my fake smile, taking the large volume off of the girl and walked placidly with the group to our picnic spot, under the shade of a large cherry blossom tree that was beautifully presenting its pink treasures to us.

The spacious blanket was laid out flattening the lush grass underneath its weight…

The picnic took full swing as Mako-chan revealed her mouth-watering selection of picnic food she had prepared for the occasion. Usagi-chan and Minako-chan both squealed in delight and immediately attacked the food with their chopsticks and squealing again as the explosion of flavours overwhelmed their taste buds. Mako-chan smiled warmly at them and began to help herself to some of the food before her chance was chomped away. Her strong hands offered both Rei-chan and I a pallet of food to choose from, which we did gratefully and nibbled on the exquisite food thoroughly enjoying Mako-chan's talent.

"Let's play Frisbee!" Usagi-chan's high-pitched voice rang out as she had scoffed away her food before anyone else had barley begun, but the rest of the group were willing enough to join in her suggestion. I used the old excuse of having just ate to sit out of the game, I felt a pair of amethyst eyes trying to probe into my thoughts and feelings but I just allowed her to see the harsh smile, which donned my mask as I waved at the group as they wandered a little further from the blanket to play their game.

I sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned sluggishly upon the thick tree trunk behind me, providing me with excellent support…

My peacefulness was broken within moments as I heard the rustling of grass next to me and the shouts of the group calling to me. Opening my ice blue eyes, I stared annoyed at the simple rainbow stained plastic circle that brought so much enjoyment to my friends and grudgingly I picked up the object, picking out my target threw it back with as much strength as I possessed.

She caught it, taken aback by the force behind it, she stared at me, her face hurt as she flicked her cape of raven coloured hair back into place and continued on with game, trying to regain her composure before anyone had noticed.

But I had noticed…

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So here's chapter 2 guys hope you all enjoyed it and please review because it was you guys that wanted this story to be continued so I need to know what you think of it. Good or bad I like it all – Dark Shadows 01


	3. Chapter 3

**Happiness**

**Disclaimer: ****Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi not me.**

**Chapter 3 for all you people who are enjoying this story of mines. Sorry for the long update, I need reviews to fuel my writing so click that button when you get to the end of this chapter please!**

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But I had noticed, yes I noticed the pain that slashed through her face, but being the independent woman she was, she carefully cloaked it and continued playing the game with the rest of the girls. Her back was turned to me in her attempts to ignore my harsh smile, which grew in size as I felt my confidence sore within me, encouraging me to keep going, to keep pushing until I felt satisfied with myself…

Hoisting my lithe form I swaggered casually up to the group of females who had stopped playing upon observing my sudden movement from the tree all but one made a comment of happiness about me joining in their fun. I released my harsh smile, replacing it with a genuine one as I stood calmly next to Usagi, Makoto and Rei were directly opposite me. Now I could really show everyone my new emotion that I had acquired…

My mouth twitched and immediately my mask was replenished over my face, I felt my confidence brimming, wanting a release, wanting to unleash its potential upon the one who was currently exchanging a few words with the alias of Sailor Jupiter and also the one who possessed the object for which the game was being played with.

"Come on! Everyone is here let's get started!" Usagi cried, jumping impatiently from her spot in the circle, I bent my knees slightly preparing myself to move at any sign of the plastic circle flying towards me.

"Catch Usagi-chan!" laughed Makoto as she gently guided the frisbee on a straight path into Usagi's smooth hands, catching it like she was told to, Usagi gave an enthusiastic thumbs up to Mako-chan before sending the frisbee towards Mina-chan. However her pathway wasn't as accurate as Mako-chan's had been so Minako had to run out of the circle to retrieve the stray disk but she laughed sympathetically at Usagi's horrified face as she apologised profusely to the red bow wearing girl.

Minako scanned the circle picking out who should have the amusement of running after the light weight disk next, her playful blue eyes met my icy blue ones and grinning she flung the frisbee my way but its path was higher than she anticipated and her mouth hung open to offer to go get the fly away material but she abruptly closed it as she watched my knees bending further and straightening in one smooth motion as I propelled my body upwards, my fingers wrapping around the moving object, immediately stopping its course and descending gracefully back down to the grassy field my summer dress pooling around my legs as it acted like a parachute. Standing coolly, not waiting for anyone to say anything I swung my arm out and the frisbee flew towards the talented cook.

Her trained hand easily caught the plastic and she flashed me an impressive smile,

"Have you been working out Ami-chan?" she called as she launched the disk back at me. Smirking I caught it again, if she wanted to challenge me then she would get a surprise. Instead of throwing it back to the poised Mako-chan, I pivoted targets to the girl next to her, who was currently thinking about something other than the heated game inside the circle,

"Heads up Rei-chan!" I called quickly but she was too deep in thought and all four of us who were on earth braced ourselves as the frisbee collided with the bridge of Rei's nose with a loud "smack". Rei's eyes sprang open as the nerves on her nose conveyed the sensation of pain to her brain, her hand swiftly pressed against her red nose as tears brimmed heavily around her eyes as she looked at me before turning on her heel and running away.

"Rei-chan! Wait!" I yelled at her retreating form but she did not stop, Mako-chan looked apologetically at me before she too sprinted away after her distressed girlfriend. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I experienced the familiar sensation of my eyes burning with prickling tears behind them, I had to get out of here, I couldn't let myself break in front of anyone, no one must know. I clenched my searing eyes closed and whirled in the opposite direction from which the other two girls had ran and bolted off into a secluded part of the park, ignoring the worried calls of Usagi and Minako. I needed to get away, to be alone, to be myself…

Wind whipped around my body as I ran, snapping at my heels as I fell, tumbling to the grassy padded ground, my head tucked into my body to protect it from being struck. I lay there, there sprawled out on my back in the grass, gasping once again. I felt my insides burning up from the exercise I keep forcing upon myself. Droplets slipped down from my cheeks, I exhaled loudly as I realised that I was in fact crying again and that it wasn't the rain creating the dampness on my cheeks. I pulled myself up and crawled pathetically towards the bank to stare into the water. I wonder if she would be here…my face peeked timidly from the grass onto the water and sure enough there she was. The same harsh smile, malicious cold eyes that pierced right through my heart, as I knew that my façade was crumbling beneath her gaze.

"I can't do this!" I shrieked at her, my small form shuddering as it was racked with sobs, "I can't…"

**To make her happy you must be happy…**

"I know!" I spat, "I know I know I know!!" I thumped the ground next to me in time with my speech, "But I hurt her, I hurt her today, I…I don't want to hurt her!" tears scorched my eyes as they fell into the water, disturbing it, the ripples grew and grew until they too merged back with the calm surface of the body of water…

Her face became distorted with all the ripples my tears were causing and I failed to notice that her ghostly hand stretched towards me, gripping my dress firmly as I was yanked into her cold depths. The blazing coldness attacked my exposed skin, setting it alight as her ghostly hand wrapped itself around my neck, squeezing slowly emptying my body of the little oxygen it still clung onto.

**You must show her you **_**don't**_** care about her… **

Her voice was echoing all round me as I was spinning, totally submerged by her power; I was rendered helpless as I could not breathe nor could I reply to her painful words.

**How do you ever expect her to look at you in any other way than a child if you cannot even protect yourself?**

I was struggling against her grip, my body convulsing due to the lack of oxygen in my brain, I was fighting with everything I had left in me, while she continued her onslaught.

**Look at you, your weak, pathetic, and useless! **Her voice was rising, her words bit at my heart piercing it ruthlessly but I was becoming light headed, her voice was now blissfully fading away quietly but not before her final statement rang out around my suspended body…

**Rei will never love you the way you are right now!**

And I was released from her grip at last as I floated lifelessly to the surface of 'happiness'…

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Chapter 3, and this took me a long time guys so please any reviews would be appreciated greatly. If you want chapter 4 then click that little review button. Thank you! – Dark Shadows 01


	4. Chapter 4

**Happiness**

**Disclaimer:**** Not mines though it would be awesome if it was!**

**Chapter 4!! Sorry for the long wait guys but here ya go!**

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Shaking, shouting, why was I being shaken and shouted at? I didn't do anything…did I? There were two pairs of hands vigorously shaking my soaking body? Why was I drenched? Wait. Where I am? I opened my pale blue eyes to observe my surroundings and the people kneeling besides me. My view was blurry and it hurt as the light and air attack my vision,

"Ami-chan!" Squealed the person on my right; making me cringe at the pain my eardrum was afflicted with. Turning sluggishly I turned my gaze to meet the concerned blue eyes of my princess, her face contorted with a mix of emotions, looking like joy and deep concern merged together.

I opened my mouth but instead of shaky words, harsh cold water spluttered forth and I coughed violently, my entire entity was racked with nausea as my throat stung, set a flamed by the rough air passing over my vocal cords. I felt myself clutch onto the blonde princess and bury my face into her chest as I was overcome with a deadly flush of heat that licked all over my entire body, torturing me as I experienced its binding flame taking over my senses, playing with my mind, rocketing my body temperature beyond the skies but making my insides deathly cold.

"We need to get her to the hospital now Usagi-chan…" the distant voice of another echoed loudly around me before I slipped away into the welcoming darkness that awaited me on the other side of my mind…

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"How is she doing Doctor?" the distant voice had returned…I knew that voice…I think, where have I heard it before? Who did it belong too? My body was too heavy to move, my brain felt drugged, my thoughts were slow in processing everything around me but instead of panicking and possibly harming myself further, I remained motionless hoping I would discover whatever state I was in at that moment.

"She has a very serious case of pneumonia but if you had brought her any later then it would have been too late." A curt voice rang out, "But with rest and these painkillers she'll recover in no time," the slapping of thick heels assaulted my sense of hearing and I groaned out, automatically gaining the attention of the remaining person in the room.

"Ami-chan?" The voice whispered out to me, "Ami-chan are you awake?"

That voice, I needed to know whom it belonged too; I cracked open my leaden eyelids and my eyes were graced with viewing the beautiful features of Rei's face. I opened my dry mouth to say something…anything but I was silenced as another figure entered the room and stood on the opposite side from where Rei was.

"Hey Ami-chan you should know better than any of us that taking a swim in a freezing pond at night was a bad idea," The whisper of Mako-chan's words, suddenly triggered my lost memories that had lead to where I was lying at this precise moment. I smiled back lethargically, feeling that none of my strength was back I relaxed back into the soft pillow, content being in the presence of Sailor Mars and Jupiter…

Wait what?! I snapped my eyes open and my heart started thumping furiously against my rib cage painfully as I saw Sailor Mars and Jupiter standing at the foot of my bed smirking maliciously down at me. But the ghostly silhouette between them petrified me more. It was her. Her face had not changed since the last time I had the sickly pleasure of encountering her harsh, cold smile, the very same one she was giving me right now. Smugly she sauntered up next to Mars and ran her icy hands all over her body. Still smiling she eyed my face before cupping Mars' and kissing her roughly, bruising her pink lips as she pulled away her smirk intensified as I detected her sparkling blues eyes, laughing at me as she took a step back from the poised warriors…

"Jupiter Supreme Thunder Dragon!"

"Mars Flame Sniper!"

Crackling fire and snarling lightning surged towards my paralysed body, my eyes widening …

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I bolted upright on a bed…my bed I recognised thankfully; my face was drenched in hot sticky sweat, which rolled off my paled face onto the bed sheets staining the covers. I inhaled deeply a few times to regain my composure from that surreal dream…dream. It was a dream I thought as relief flooded my form as I slumped back onto the pillow I had been resting on. The door creaked open and my eyes snapped open again as I saw Rei!

I jumped out off bed in fright it wasn't a dream!

I landed on my feet but my wobbly legs gave way and I fell hard on the carpeted floor of my bedroom, I was trying desperately to heave my leaden body up but I could not but suddenly two firm hands clasped themselves around my shoulders and effortlessly lifted my thin form from the ground and placed me gently onto my bed, which I had previously leapt away from. The hands now slid slowly down to clutch the ghostly white hands that belonged to me. My breath hitched when I felt her skin, when I felt her warmth radiating into my lifeless body. A finger raised my chin up so I was softly forced to look into those eyes. Those warm, strong amethyst eyes, oh how weak I felt under her gaze, I felt myself crumbling inside as I stared back losing myself entirely in her eyes, the familiar sensation of prickling hot tears stung at my eyes as I broke down in front of her, I flung myself at her warm comforting body clutching it as though she was the only thing keeping me alive in this world. I sobbed loudly into her shoulder, crying my heart out to her, there were so many things I needed to say to her but I was too washed up in my sorrow to voice any thoughts. And like the amazing girl she was, she too clutched my tiny form rocking me back a forth, soothing my mourning.

I quietened down and settled with sniffing every so often my head rested in the crook of her neck as her arms were still encircled around me, like a life line, I felt safe almost like a child feels when comforted by a parent,

"Rei-chan," I croaked out finally, the words emerged painfully from my throat as I felt her stop rocking to listen to what I had to say,

"I'm sorry for…" a slender finger pressed against my lips silencing me effectively.

"Ami-chan you have nothing to be sorry for, I'm the one that has to be sorry," I pushed myself off of her to gaze back at her eyes, confused by her words. What was she trying to say?

"Why do you have to be sorry for I'm the one who has been…different," I argued back, my eyes were searching hers, was this happening?

She chuckled lightly, at my face I assume but I kept it serious, what was she going to say? Was it what I hoped, dreamed it would be??

"Ami-chan I didn't know how you felt about me and I'm sorry that I made you do things that you didn't necessarily want to."

I swallowed hard, I braced myself, this was it I thought now or never, I had to do it now or I would lose all courage.

I breathed deeply and leaned forward capturing those beautiful pink lips…

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Chapter 4, go give me a review it'll make me feel better. Thank you! – Dark Shadows 01


	5. Chapter 5

**Happiness**

**Disclaimer:**** Sailor Moon… yes is still not mines.**

**Chapter 5 is here guys, thank you for being so patient and for all your kind reviews please keep them coming! Enjoy!**

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**I breathed deeply and leaned forward capturing those beautiful pink lips…**

The velvet texture of the warm flesh of her lips lingering on mine blew my confused and tortured mind blank; blissfully blank, relieving my soul of the horrible parasite that was the physical manisfestation of my tainted emotions.

The past and future were meaningless to me all that mattered was now and right now I was relishing the intimacy I am sharing with my exotic goddess from the fiery planet of Mars. Her fire ignited my soul, shattering all the darkness hidden deep within the icy depths of my water…my 'happiness'. My entire being basked in the wholesome feeling of being complete, being truly **happy.**

Hino Rei is the light to my darkness, the light at the end of a very long tunnel and the ultimate symbol of hope.

Suspended in my own ignorance I failed to notice a very important detail amidst all my joyful metaphors and satisfaction of finally ridding myself of my darkness.

Rei is not kissing back. Rei isn't doing anything…I snapped my azure eyes open to meet those deep amethyst orbs, staring back full of apprehension and concern. She leaned her body away from mines, separating the little contact that I had savoured so much. My eyes mirrored the emotions in hers, did I do something wrong? Did I… oh god…did I read her wrong?!

"Ami," She whispered faintly, the lack of honorifics should have made my heart skip a beat, which it did but not for the reason I was desperately hoping for.

"Ami," her voice was firmer, she must have over come the inner battle she was struggling with previously, "Is this what you feel for me?"

Is this what I feel for you? Oh Rei you have no idea how much I love you and how I need you in my life so badly. My mouth slackened open but no sound emerged from it, my voice had buried itself within my throat frightened to say something wrong. So I settled with nodding slowly to the woman in front of me.

I observed warily as her brows knitted together into an intense frown, whatever she was pondering must have pained her in some way.

"Rei," I croaked, the dryness of my throat adding a scratchy tone to my already wavering voice.

But she silenced me with a raised hand; I quietened down immediately, however my heart did the opposite. It had resorted to thrashing rapidly against my rib cage, the tension in the room had gotten to it, unable to cope the suspense I furrowed my eyebrows together to try and encourage the other girl to speak and cut us free from this suffocating atmosphere.

Sighing loudly Rei raised her eyes to meet mines in a solemn expression,

"Ami-chan," the honorifics had been replaced… "I…I can't return your feelings, I love Mako-chan."

Dead. Someone had just shot me in my heart and killed me; my body felt heavy and leaden, the searing pain pierced through my rapidly decreasing heartbeat, as I sat there dumfounded allowing shock to paralyse my form entirely.

"I'm so sorry Ami-chan," Her voice genuine as she rose gracefully from her place on the carpeted floor and left my room…

Leaving me agonisingly alone…

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The end for another story, wow I'm doing well aren't I? So yeah sorry for the shock of Rei and Ami not happening but if anyone noticed this story was not categorised as romance. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated – Dark Shadows 01


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